Talking About People in Front of People

Personally? I love this. With a qualifier: It needs to be kind and not cruel.

I try to include this element in the Wilfair books. It's fun when two friends retreat to a bedroom to discuss a guy; it is far more interesting to me when the guy himself is included in the conversation.

I should say I love it when it isn't especially mean-spirited. I don't mind gossip having an edge, because I think it authentically does, but I'm not fond of friends tearing each other down. At all. Because life is hard and stuff.

Two last thoughts.

One? This isn't to say there aren't mean people in the books. The stories do lean sunny, definitely, but there are clouds around.

And two? Having friends tease, rankle, and befuddle each other by talking about one another in front of one another is perfectly acceptable, of course. Sometimes a person wants to further a friend's agenda by revealing something about them in the presence of others.

An example of this would be Monty discussing Gomery's interesting policy near the beginning of Redwoodian. Gomery is a bit embarrassed but Monty knows sharing the information will ultimately benefit his cousin.

We all need that bold person who can say what we can't or won't.

And we eventually must learn how to say what we can't or won't.

3 comments:

Carly said...

My sisters and I do this all the time. It's like good-natured bullying.

It's really awesome if we go shopping and one of us comes out of the dressing room wearing a potential outift, and the other sisters discuss the pros/cons of said outfit. This will often devolve into discussing the pros/cons of your body in said outfit. And it's all done with a strange combination of loving tactlessness, be the comments positive or negative.

I totally love it.

Wilfair Book said...

"Loving tactlessness." Ha! That tickles me. That's it exactly.

Carly said...

Oh, I also wanted to mention how much I loved Monty's reaction to Sutton and Fair's conversation on that same car ride. Something along the lines of "I love this conversation...don't girls usually wait until they're in their room to talk about this stuff?"

 
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