The Scenic Route

I mentioned a few posts down that I have to police my tendency to take the scenic route when I write.

In real life, I love tangents and conversational side trips. They're kind of what friendships are built on, right? The joshing and flights of fancy that have little to do with the point at hand.

But a book is finite, and our time to consume a story is finite, too, and I take people's time very seriously. So I don't indulge in the scenic routes in the "Wilfair" books as much as I'd like. I try to find the middle point between moving things forward and the fun, loose, shooting-off-in-all-directions conversation that really happens among friends.

(The following example is not currently part of the plot in past or upcoming books.)

Acceptable

Fair: "Where's, like, the motel's pool? It's gone."
Gomery: "It was here this morning. I went swimming."
Monty: "Guys, don't look over there, but Room 115 is full of water."

The Scenic Route

Fair: "Where's, like, the motel's pool? It's gone."
Gomery: "It was here this morning. I went swimming."
Fair: "Really?"
Monty: "Don't act surprised, Miss Finley. I think you have a wall calendar tracking all of the motel employees' minute-by-minute movements. When Mer here wakes up a siren goes off of your bed."
Gomery: "She's the motel's best surveillance system."
Fair: "But wasn't the water cold?"
Gomery: "We do have heat. Well. It's more warmth than heat."
Monty: "Yeah, we're not that poor. Gol, Fair. I'm sick of you bringing money into this."
Fair: "Uh, I didn't mean that. I just mean. Like. Are you chilly when you get out?"
Monty: "Do you want to wait down here with a towel? I bet The Wilfair has some extra fluffy scented bath sheets. None of the threadbare squares we rock at the Fairwil."
Fair: "If I come down with a fluffy Wilfair towel, will you tell me what's in the club sandwich?"
Gomery: "Absolutely not."
Fair: "Dill cheese."
Gomery: "Nope."
Fair: "Nope, you're not telling me, or nope, dill cheese isn't in the sandwich?"
Gomery: "What answer will leave you wondering?"
Monty: "Uh, so, again: Where's the pool?"
Fair: "Right! The pool!"
Gomery: "Whoa, over there. Is Room 115 full of water? Is the pool inside? The window is..."
Fair: "Trickling? Can a window, like, trickle?"
Monty: "Fair, go get all the snooty towels The Wilfair's got. We need to open that door and I'll need your hand-drying services exactly five seconds after that. I got a lot of crevices."
Fair: "Why would someone hide your pool in there? You didn't do this, Gomery. Right?
Gomery: "Don't look at me."
Monty: "Ask her anything else, Mer, but don't ask her that. She can't not. Now, Miss Finley. Those towels? I have a pool I need to throw out of Room 115."
Fair: "Uh. Going. Towels. Fluffy. Soft. Scented. Now."
Gomery: "Wait. Fair. Were you done guessing?"
Fair: "Guessing why that motel room is trickling?"
Gomery: "About the club sandwich. Because I wasn't done telling you not to guess."
Monty: "Gah!!! Towels!!! My crevices!!!"

9 comments:

emilymarchman said...

:) Feel free to take the scenic route more than not. I loved that!

Wilfair Book said...

Emily! I am SO excited to see you here. Funny, I was just thinking about your kind Gomery comment on FYA a few months back. Sometimes, when I'm writing, I think "will my Gomery ladies like this moment?" :) You're one of those ladies!

And I added you to the thank you post below. I didn't know you were coming by the blog! I'm so glad. Thank yous all around.

Okay, I'll definitely keep some scenic route in for you.

bess said...

I'll second the scenic route, this Gomery fan heartily approves. I also have a feeling that the Monty contingent will be very worried about his crevices ;).

myrandaroyann said...

Ha! I'm a scenic route kind of person. Not sure if it applies in this case but I'm the queen of run-on sentences! I have so much that I want to say that it's hard for me to pick what to cut out. ;)

Carly said...

The Monty contingent is extremely worried about/distracted by the prospect of Monty crevices;)

Chiara said...

I can only second what myrandaroyann said, nothing to add there.

Wilfair Book said...

myrandaroyann and Chiara: I like a good run-on sentence, especially if gets incredibly florid and strange and unwieldy. Support.

Carly: I'm always thinking of Monty for you. Including his crevices. Believe it.

Bess: Ditto Gomery.

bess said...

I imagine that Monty has crevices but Gomery has nooks and crannies, like an English muffin.

Wilfair Book said...

Bess: YES.

 
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