Commentary: Safety First

Wilfriends! I'm wrapping the behind-the-scenes commentary up today, but I'll likely do one now and then (meaning every week or two). And I take requests. In fact, I have one already. Person who made the request, are you serious about me commenting on that scene? Because you know I will. Wink.

Thank you all for your kind words. 

Chapter: Preview at the end of "Stay Awhile"

     Monty stepped into the storage room and shone his flashlight in our faces. “Now. Who in here wants to work out some tension and pickax the hell out of an old wall?”
     “I do!” shouted Gomery. This is the first/last time I typed the words "shouted Gomery," I do believe. He's not a shouter by trade.
     “Me!” I yelled. Not the first time I've typed "I yelled" though, by a long shot. :)
     “Mmm hmm. I knew I should have made up more lyrics. Fair, you’re going first, because seeing a woman wielding a pickax while rocking my comfort wear is a fantasy of mine. The fact that we’re about to find a pool on the other side, and I’m gonna save the day and my family’s motel, was not part of the fantasy, but you can bet it will be. Oh, unsexy protective goggles’ll have to be part of the fantasy, too, since we’re all about safety first at the motel. Except when we’re not.” What's on the other side of the wall that's located at the back of The Wilfair Hotel's basement's secret basement? Monty thinks it is a pool. It could be anything, really, since old hotels tend to best other buildings in the "strange secrets" departments. Seriously: Next time you stay at a hotel built before 1950, ask a chatty staffer about a) secret rooms or b) ghosts. I promise they'll have an anecdote for you. Or at least they'll tell you some weird story, because hotels are weird story-makers.
     He handed me the eyewear and I slipped the bulky plastic gear over my head, taking care not to catch my damp hair on the elastic. A piece of cracking plastic pinched the top of my nose. I turned toward the cousins and adjusted. “Weddy,” I said nasally, and gave a thumbs up. No joke -- if safety goggles are around, or *any* goggles, I have to try them on and then, I don't know. Pretend I'm a robot or something? But: safety goggles!
     “Unsexy protective goggles are so fantasy,” agreed Gomery, who didn’t sound like he was joking. Gomery 2.0
      I discovered three things wielding the pickax. One. I was a natural. Two. Swinging a pickax hides the fact you’ve been sweating like a first-time jogger over completely non-pickax-related events. People will just call it pickax sweat and be done with it, not knowing it was really sweat from being face-stroked and called “this person” multiple times by your own this person. There are a few instances of physical activity in the books: The throwing of snowballs and the potential smashing of crystal mint dishes and the tearing down of this wall. I included these moments because there has to be somewhere Fair can put all of that new zingy energy that's coursing down her arms, an energy that zig-zags upward every time she spies the little pi sign between Gomery's eyebrows.
     And three? There was no pool behind the wall. But there was a door with a carved dolphin. Numbering thoughts and listing things appear in all the books, I believe. I sometimes do this in real life, too (which you likely know if we've emailed).
     “Heeyaw!” I ripped, putting the pickax into the wall for the eleventh time. "Heeyaw" is a colorful sibling to yelling "yell," of course.
     “Sorry, Mer, I don’t think you’re getting your shot. There’s something poetic though about Fair Finley destroying her hotel, so I’m willing to let her have all the fun.” There is something to be said for dismantling the main thing that preoccupies our time and mind, and then reconstructing it in a better way. Maybe not via pickax, though!
     “Guys. Guys.” I panted. “I see a dolphin.”
      “A real dolphin? Man, those are some smart mammals. Well, not if he got stuck behind the wall in your storage room, but maybe he was down here trying to get it on with this other dolphin he worked next door to and couldn’t really officially date, and he accidentally got stuck.” Monty kind of annoys me here, and I wish he'd be quiet, which is why I kept it in.
       “A carved dolphin.” I marveled.
       “We’re close.” Monty raised the flashlight. “Blue-wave tile and a dolphin. That ain’t a dentist’s office on the other side of that wall.” Honest? It could be. My old dentist office was painted in shades of lavender, floor to ceiling. A sea motif would be very soothing for patients.
       “It’s a door,” I panted, pulling the plastic eyewear down around my neck. The items Fair Finley has had on or around her head in the books thus far: a snood, Gomery Overbove's necktie, plastic safety goggles.
       Gomery joined me. “You’re right. Let’s get the rest of this wall down.” We began ripping the old plaster with our hands, tearing and dropping chunks at our feet. He’d reach for another shred of wall and I’d already be on it, shredding. And then I discovered a fourth benefit to this particular exercise: People who are dying to kiss but haven’t should find a false wall and rip it down together, bare-handed and wet with perspiration. It could be a fun first date activity, instead of dinner and a movie. I am rather partial to offbeat dates, whether it is a first date or you've been together forever. I always have a suggestion ready, too, so email me if you need ideas. If Fair and Gomery ever have an official first date I don't think it will involve shredding a secret wall, bare-handed, though it might involve holding onto the edges of a diving board.
       Yeah, I said it.

cr: S. Diddy


Caitlin #1 said...

You forgot something else Fair has had on her head: Gomery Overbove's hand. Tee hee hee! :)

P.S. Am I the person who made the request? Toast scene from "Wilfair"? Yes.

Oh, or just thought of another one: when Fair tells off Thurs near the end of "Stay Awhile".

Wilfair Book said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Of course! Dang it. You are correct! Gomery's hand, too.

That Thurs scene is already in my back pocket for future use, believe it.

Also, you mentioned another scene, beyond the toast. I actually was thinking of that one, too.

Caitlin #1 said...

Mmm, no, I decided I wasn't serious about requesting that other scene. Unless someone else requests it too.

Wilfair Book said...

Roger that. 10-4. Over and out.

But toast! Yes. I need some now. Goodness but we're up early talking on the Wilfair blog.

Amanda W said...

I've so been enjoying these! Thanks for sharing them. Whoever compared them to watchign a dvd with a director's commentary was spot on. New vacation idea: go to LA and participate in a reading of the entire Wilfair series with nightly commentary by Alysia. Fantastic, no? :)

also, your comment about old hotels made me think of Angel (the tv show) when he buys that old hotel in season 2. I loved that new character! (because the hotel was definitely its own character). I thought it really felt "LA" to me....not that I know what LA feels like having never been there. But you get my point. :)

do dah said...

amanda w, will you share your vacation? let's all have a giant slumber party with story time! and, obviously, dip.

(i think i have tried to comment on this post three times now, but i am apparently having an argument with google. if it shows up three times, please ignore.)

Amanda W said...

do dah, yes! A slumber part with dip sounds just about perfect.

bess said...

Slumber party? I'll bring the nail polish (teal and orange, of course) and start working on my moves for the dance contest.

bess said...

Would it be a crazy idea to have some type of Wilfair gathering in the future? I know a lot of you have made the pilgrimage to Wilshire and Fairfax but what if it were more of an official thing? I know it might be tough for some of us that are on the wrong coast but if we planned far enough in advance...? Feel free to chime in.

Caitlin #1 said...

Bess, you read my mind. As someone who is on neither coast, I would absolutely be down for a gathering, schedule and plenty of advance notice permitting!

do dah said...

amanda, bess, caitlin, that would be AMAZING! let's do it! we should all trade emails in some relatively private way (perhaps through alysia, if she would be so kind?) and start making this happen.

p.s. from some way earlier comment thread, i finally watched "bootmen," where adam garcia tap dances. i have never seen a movie with so many lengths of pants! manpris and argyle socks for the win.

Wilfair Book said...

You guys know I write about Los Angeles/California for my job, right? So if you come out to visit me you get a bonus: an enthusiastic tour guide.

I'd love it. Love it x 100. Let's get through this next book, though, good? And then party, La Vida LA-style. ;)

Kelly said...

Hello, so I'm a little late to the party (I've been away on a work trip with little-to-no internet access, and now that I'm back I'm having a Sunday morning pajama-clad blog binge to catch up), but just to say these behind the scenes commentary posts were so great! I love getting all the insider info, it satisfies a little of my endless nosiness about how stuff like this comes together, and you picked some of my favourite bits too!

Also, Wilfair-Con! Lets make it happen. Advance notice and flight costs permitting, I would totally make the trip over for this.

Also also, do dah - Bootmen, YES, I was not even aware of the variety of available trouser lengths before this movie.

Rosemary said...

Darn it. I started my New! Professional! Career! of working from home the same day I started reading your blog and these behind-the-scenes commentary posts are really getting in the way of my efficiency model.

If I end up a barista at Starbucks, I'm blaming you.

But then I'll feel bad that I blamed you and make you a free latte.

Wilfair Book said...

Roooooosemary! I don't need a full latte, but I will go with a single espresso shot. Thank you for the offer!

I'm so happy you've stopped by. And please know we here at Wilfair HQ support you in your New! Professional! Career!

You are funny. You do know I'm a little infatuated with the overuse of exclamation points, right?

I mean, right?!?!!!

How goes day two of your NPC? I'm on tenterhooks. (No, really. I work from home, so I know the joys and challenges. I. KNOW.)

Thanks for the comment!

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