Cold Season at Wilshire & Fairfax

A reader just wrote me about her cold, cough cough, and I wrote her and said "stick a clove of garlic in your cheek and leave it there for an hour!"

I'd tell any of my ladies the same. Nope, it won't make you new friends, but garlic. It's a wonder! Also, hot baths and lots of sleep. Done.

What are your remedies?

It's also cold season at The Wilfair Hotel and Motel Fairwil. The sniffliest time of year tends to hit our book friends -- Fair, Monty, Sutton, and Gomery -- hard, principally because they are in constant contact with people who've traveled from all over the place. They're forever touching luggage handles and credit cards and elevator buttons, which means boom! They've got an icky throat come winter, as sure as sunshine.

One and all, they work through it, though in different ways...

Fair Finley retreats to her upstairs room for afternoon naps when she's sneezed on The Wilfair's mint dish one too many times. There's also a special dip on the 500 Dip Bar menu -- I believe #71 -- that has a lot of ginseng and lemon and mint, and is known around LA as a natural cold fighter. The hotelier eats a lot of that while wearing her comfiest pajamas and moaning.

Sutton Von Hunt goes to work at her grandmother's fruitcher shop, but she won't handle the fruit, because that's "WSKIF disgusting." She will, however, plunk down in a chair near the back and order people around, including the people her grandmother has called for help. Order them around between nose blows, of course. Sutton doesn't skip school when sick, and she has been known to forget to cover her mouth when coughing, once or twice, when she's around the rude kids. I'm not personally endorsing this, I'm just reporting what's happened.

Clementine Hwang often doesn't have the choice of napping or taking an afternoon off work when she's low, as she's away on movie sets, but she's been experimenting with different tones and sonic levels, just to see if they can help clear the stuffy head. She hasn't hit on a formula yet, but she has what she calls her "Stop Coughing Playlist." Lots of classical.

Prior Yates has a special spa room in each of his four homes. He turns up the humid heat and retreats there to sweat out the sickness. He sends his staff on vacation, when he's ill, which means he weathers feeling badly alone, save the 20 delivery people who come to his door daily, delivering "Get Well" tea baskets from concerned fans.

Thurs Mathers retreats to the spa he owns, the one in British Columbia. The hotel mogul is also developing a resort devoted solely to people with head colds. Every room comes stocked with an endless supply of tissue, lozenges, and gossip magazines.

Monty Overbove refuses to acknowledge any cold he gets. He powers through, eating twice as much as he typically does to knock it out, and lots of protein. He'll consume a dozen eggs in a week. The aspiring filmmaker also read about a pricey tonic that famous moviemakers drink, so he visits a local health store to buy it, even though it takes the better part of his spending cash. Same goes for expensive fruits and juices and any foodstuff that Monty believes has been purchased by the successful icons in the career he wants.

Gomery Overbove does not handle a cold well at all. The motelier's not exactly a baby, but he can be a real pill, refusing Monty's offers to go get him the pricey tonic or to cover the front desk. Being a forward-motion person, generally, Gomery uses any scratchy throat as an opportunity to wallow a little, something he rarely allows himself to do. And he really does not like having to go into the swimming pool when sick, if a guest has dropped a bracelet or wallet at the bottom. He will though, miserable and shaking and wet and mad, and then he'll retreat to Room 127, where he'll cocoon in a blanket and watch old science fiction films.

 cr: boo lee


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